Alex Semin is barely relevant to himself. (Photo blatantly stolen from http://www.russianmachineneverbreaks.com - who knows where they stole it from.)

7 Things from Waukegan

I’m writing from enemy territory today: Chicago. Famous for Sammy Sosa, deep dish pizza, that huge statue of Marilyn Monroe, and the dirty, rotten, stinkin’ Blackhawks.

Well, to be fair I’m not actually in Chicago. I’m in Waukegan. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, so here you go: Where’s Waukegan? (In case you don’t want to check out the link, it’s just north of the Windy City. Or, as Hockey Broad put it, Waukegan is “far suburban Chicagoland”.

I haven’t seen any Hawks paraphernalia around town just yet, but then again it’s 30 degrees Celsius hereabouts – not exactly jersey-wearing weather. Lots of Cubs and Bulls stuff on the streets, though.

Anyway, here’s 7 Things from Waukegan:

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You too can be an Asian child - for just $49.95!

Knee Hockey

You too can be an Asian child – for just $49.95!

If you’re among the gross majority of the human population currently, sweltering under record temperatures, there are two things on your mind:

1) “George W. Bush and his scienceless brethren are idiots for denying the existence of climate change. Crack a frickin’ window, you brain-dead zealots!”

2) “I just wish there were a way for me to play summer hockey while kneeling on a sprinkler-surrounded slip and slide!”

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AndyMurrayWimbledon2012

Canadians have it pretty good

Fred Perry is the last British-born tennis player to win Wimbledon. Check out the pants!

If you think it’s been a long time since a Canadian team hoisted the Stanley Cup, try being a British tennis fan.

In case you’re counting, the last time the Cup was won by a team north of the 49th parallel was in 1993, when Patrick Roy’s Montreal Canadiens beat Gretzky and the LA Kings in five games. A lot of people consider the Stanley Cup, and even hockey as a game, to be incontrovertibly Canadian, but since the Habs won 19 years ago, every championship series has gone to a US-based team. The Ottawa Senators, Calgary Flames, Edmonton Oilers and the Vancouver Canucks (twice) have appeared in finals since then, but northern fans have gone into the summer empty-handed and broken-hearted each time.

So, wah. The Brits haven’t celebrated a hometown men’s singles hero on Centre Court since the Great Frickin’ Depression. How long ago was that? Players wore PANTS during matches.

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