Football’s Back! by Sam Anderson

We at Pucked in the Head would like to introduce our new BC Lions correspondent, Sam Anderson. Located on the mighty Twitter at @SamelaAnderson, this football gal represents everything that is right about football fandom. Beer, check. Permasmile, check. Large collection of BC Lions paraphernalia, check. So much enthusiasm you can’t even imagine watching a game without her, check.

Football’s Back!
by Sam Anderson

Ahhh I’m getting so excited! The return of preseason football is the equivalent of Christmas for CFL fans. While I’m bummed that TSN opted not to televise the preseason games this season (BOOOOOOOOOO!), and happy that our boys eked it out vs the Stamps last Friday night, it’s being back in my seat at BC Place that I’m really looking forward to. This Friday night can’t come soon enough.

More, including Grey Cup and Fan Fest reminiscin’, after the jump.

Sam Anderson (@SamelaAnderson on the mighty Twitter) cavorts with Leo the Lion at the 2013 BC Lions Fan Fest in Kamloops. Photo courtesy of Sam's Facebook page.

Sam Anderson (@SamelaAnderson on the mighty Twitter) cavorts with Leo the Lion at the 2013 BC Lions Fan Fest in Kamloops. Photo courtesy of Sam’s Facebook page.

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My Darling Valentine

Over the years since his playing career, Carl Valentine has become one of Vancouver’s biggest ambassadors for the game of soccer. Dude, this cat is like a nomadic Whitecaps town crier — if it’s even possible to be those two things at once — roaming the land, high fiving and hugging whomever he meets. He’s nearly always got a smile on his face and a story at the ready. At games, he jumps in to lead chants with the supporter groups, runs down the sidelines shaking hands, and brings endless enthusiasm to pre-game, half-time and full-time in-game announcements.

Whitecaps FC ambassador Carl Valentine and Southsiders scarf collector Kristjan Hau lead a song during MLS play on 15 June 2013. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Whitecaps FC ambassador Carl Valentine and Southsiders scarf collector Kristjan Aug lead a song during MLS play on 15 June 2013. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

More, including Carl wearing my shirt, after the jump.

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Because it’s the Cup

Notice it's FINAL. Singular. So yeah, stop saying FINALS with an 's' already. Logo stolen without shame from the interweb.

Notice it’s FINAL. Singular. So yeah, stop saying FINALS with an ‘s’ already. Logo stolen without shame from the interweb.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch the Boston Bruins and their road show of pulverizing ogres attack the fleet-footed wood elves that are the Chicago Blackhawks.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch the NHL showcase some of the shakiest referees to appear in playoff history.

Because it’s the Cup, I will scratch my head wondering how in hell the Hawks and Bs had never met in a final before now.

Because it’s the Cup, I will attempt — and most likely fail — to limit the number of times I use the word ‘douche’ to describe Brad Marchand.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Glen Healy and PJ Stock make unmitigated fools of themselves using only their words.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch countless people scream blue murder about whatever comes out of Don Cherry’s mouth.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Tukka Rask continue his impressive climb out of Tim Thomas’ borderline racist, definitely bizarre shadow.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Corey Crawford continue his impressive climb out of Antti Niemi’s I-can’t-make-an-adjectival-joke-here-because-I-still-feel-like-”Antti-who?” shadow.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Marian Hossa play like a frickin’ beast.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Zdeno Chara play as a frickin’ beast.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Jaromir Jagr make his first Stanley Cup Final appearance in 21 years.

Ohhhh, that's where Bolland is. Photo pilfered from the interweb.

You mean he is playing this year? Coulda fooled me. Photo pilfered from the interweb.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Dave Bolland — oh wait, no I won’t, because he pulled a disappearing act this post-season.

Because it’s the Cup, I will watch Jonathan Toews attempt to become just the second player, after Wayne Gretzky, to captain two championship teams before turning 25. Yes, Captain Serious was less than four years old the last time Jagr hit the NHL final round.

Because it’s the Cup, I will applaud these two teams even though they are roundly despised by pretty much every hockey fan in Vancouver.

Because it’s the Cup, I will hope and pray that the Hawks manage to score it up against the Bruins, because we as fans desperately need fast, creative hockey — not plodding, grind-it-out 1-0 yawnfests.

Because it’s the Cup, I will predict that the series winner will be scored by Brian Bickell in game 7 at the United Center.

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Public Service Announcement: Vote Timbers For MLS All-Star Game

With the ridiculous annual corporate wankfest that is the MLS All-Star Game once again looming on the horizon, Pucked in the Head has a very important message for all you Whitecaps fans: vote green and white! Portland is having a stellar season, currently sitting in 3rd place in the Western Conference with two games in hand on 2nd-place Real Salt Lake. Their players absolutely deserve the honour of competing in this ridiculous annual corporate wankfest. I assure you that this has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the fact the game takes place on July 31st, just three days before Vancouver has to play a Cascadia Cup match against the Portland Timbers. No siree, Bob. We are absolutely not suggesting that you should attempt to rig the fan voting to ensure that the Whitecaps have the best possible chance of winning their derby the following weekend. Nope. Continue reading

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The BC Lions War Room is a Man Cave Wet Dream

The BC Lions conference room features a table painted like a CFL football field, life-sized photos of Grey Cup winners and assorted team legends, and — wait for it — actual Astroturf flooring painted like centre field. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

The BC Lions conference room features a table painted like a CFL football field, life-sized photos of Grey Cup winners and assorted team legends, and — wait for it — actual AstroTurf flooring painted like centre field. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Pucked in the Head had the pleasure of chatting with folks over at the BC Lions about an upcoming fundraiser today. No, I’m not letting the cat out of the bag about the event just yet, so hold your horses — but I thought I’d share with y’all just how freakin’ awesome the BC Lions War Room is. The offices moved from BC Place to the location of the Surrey Practice Facility a few years ago, and I’ve got to say I love what they’ve done with the place.

This is where Wally Buono & Co. hold their strategic meetings for football operations. The mural of the 2011 Grey Cup celebration could have been expected, I suppose, as could have the myriad photos of Lions legends. Note the head shots of guys like Lou Passaglia and Jim Young — he’s the one with the shaggy hair and bushy mustache, and just happened to be the first player I admired as a wee lad.

More after the break.

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Alain Rochat Traded to DC United for Peanuts

Vancouver Whitecaps FC defender Alain Rochat had an effective game on the back end, but could have handed off set pieces to other, more offensively-booted teammates in the 2-1 win over Columbus. Photo courtesy of the Vancouver Whitecaps FC.

Vancouver Whitecaps FC defender Alain Rochat, one of the first confirmed MLS signings for the club, was traded on Thursday to DC United. Photo courtesy of Vancouver Whitecaps FC.

Well that was fun. I woke up to a text saying that Whitecaps FC defender Alain Rochat had been traded. (Shut up, I was on a night shift last night.) My good friend Jason was kind: he didn’t tell me who the Whitecaps had got back. Had I received those twin shocks at once, I believe I would now be trying to get brain matter out of the curtains. No easy task when your head has just exploded.

Let me get this straight: Martin Rennie has traded another fan favourite for draft picks, and he’s done it just one week after a heartbreaking Voyageurs Cup loss had many people were howling for his scalp? Wow. Nobody’s ever questioned the gaffer’s testicular fortitude, anyway.

My questions about the deal after the jump.

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The Elusive Road Win

The Vancouver Whitecaps have seen an impressive run of play from young Canadian forward Russell Teibert. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

The Vancouver Whitecaps have seen an impressive run of play from young Canadian forward Russell Teibert. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

The Vancouver Whitecaps pulled a rare animal out of their hat this weekend — a road victory. After outplaying and outchancing opponents in several draws (and even a few losses) over the past few weeks, the boys in blue and white stole a 2-1 win in a contest they had no business winning.

Karma dictated the Caps had to come out on top of a decision like this sooner or later. Despite riding a four-game unbeaten streak into the match, they hadn’t received all the points they had deserved. Wednesday’s heartbreaking draw against Montreal lost the Whitecaps their first Voyageurs Cup. They had run the show for 85 minutes, hitting the woodwork twice and putting several shots just wide. By all accounts they could have scored a half-dozen against the Impact but only gave Craig MacEwan two opportunities to say “it’s in the back of the net!”

The previous game was another 2-2 draw, this time against Portland. The Caps scored two marvellous goals, but the Timbers played with twelve men — unfortunately the twelfth one carried a whistle and wore a referee’s jersey. While that may seem unfair, both goals for the visitors were contestable. The tying goal in particular was quite stinky, as Jose Valencia clearly used both arms to corral a hail-mary pass in the Vancouver box before depositing it behind Brad Knighton.

So yeah, gutting out a win when the other guys probably deserved it? Karmic payback against all those other teams that have nicked points from the Caps earlier in the year.

More, including match highlights, after the jump.

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Whitecaps Try To Conquer Canada

The Voyageurs Cup tournament has been a thorn in the side of Vancouver Whitecaps supporters for eleven years now. Eleven times the Cup has been contested, and eleven times the club has found a way to lose. In 2011, Vancouver was less than 20 minutes from victory when torrential rain and lightning in Toronto forced an abandonment, wiping out the Whitecaps’ away goal and necessitating a replay, which they would lose. In 2012, the Whitecaps managed to lose to “the worst team in the world,” as Toronto forward Danny Koevermans called his TFC squad after they’d set an MLS futility record to start a season. But the one that will be on the minds of long-time fans of the Whitecaps will be the 2009 tournament, when the Whitecaps all but won their first championship, only to have it snatched away on the final day of the tournament in a game they weren’t even involved in. The Montreal Impact, who were already eliminated from that 2009 tournament, played a reserve side in the final game and were routed 6-1, handing the championship to Toronto on goal differential. Though not one player remains from that 2009 tournament, thousands of fans remember. Beating then-division 2 Montreal in the first round wasn’t enough. The fans want revenge, and they want it tonight. Continue reading

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Quickies: Dousing the Heat, and Red Bull gives Kristjan wings

Dousing the Heat
The 2013-14 Abbotsford Heat will have a new look at both ends of the ice, as their number one goaltender and top scorer have both signed with Swedish Elite League teams this week. Danny Taylor, he of the 2.05 goals against average and the 18-10-2 record — keep in mind those numbers were earned with a team that failed to make the playoffs — has now inked a two-year deal with Färjestad BK.

Goaltender Danny Taylor is one of two Abbotsford Heat players to sign with Swedish Elite League teams this week. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Goaltender Danny Taylor is one of two Abbotsford Heat players to sign with Swedish Elite League teams this week. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

“It’s twice as much money as I’ve ever made in a hockey season,” Taylor told the Abbotsford News, adding that stability was important in his decision. “I’ve had three or four seasons where I’m waiting around (for a contract) and it’s August, and I’m pulling my nails out of my fingers wondering where I’m going to go.” Including his two-game stint with the Calgary Flames in 2013, the 27-year-old Taylor has played for a dozen pro teams since his junior career ended in 2005.

Also leaving on a jet plane is the Heat’s all-time leading scorer, 29-year-old centre Ben Walter — he signed with Örebro Hockey for the upcoming season.

More after the break.

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Whitecaps Robbed of Two Points

Major League Soccer refereeing is infuriating. The well-officiated game in this league is notable for its rarity, and today’s Cascadia Cup clash between the Whitecaps and the Portland Timbers was not one of those rarities.

Camilo de Sanvezzo (second from right) gave the Whitecaps FC their first-ever lead against the Portland Timbers, but it was negated in the second half by a dubious penalty call. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Camilo de Sanvezzo (second from right) gave the Whitecaps FC their first-ever lead against the Portland Timbers, but it was negated in the second half by a dubious penalty call. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

More after the break.

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