Using techniques developed by my wife’s Mayan ancestors, including sacrificing several bulls under this week’s blood moon, I have determined beyond a reasonable doubt who will win the 2014 Stanley Cup. Unless the sun implodes and Stephen Harper finally reveals that he is now, and always has been, an Amway representative, the San Jose Sharks will leave greasy playoff beard residue on Lord Stanley’s mug.
Fans in Vancouver are predictably blasé about the NHL playoffs; the Canucks have missed the post-season for the first time since 2008, and YVR hockey fans aren’t exactly renowned for loving the game so much as their team. (Case in point: the Abbotsford Heat are shutting up shop at the conclusion of their playoff run after years of decreasing returns in the Valley. People out thisaway are so scared of Calgary Flames cooties they’ve refused to see professional puck for $20.)
We at Pucked in the Head believe in celebrating the game, even when our local team comes up lame. Here are Jason’s picks for this year’s post-season. He’s so concussed by the ascension of Zack Kassian and the retirements of Teemu Selanne and Ryan Smythe — not to mention the bizarre first-round matchups determined by the NHL’s new wild card system — that he’s thumbing for Stanley Cup supremacy… the San Jose Sharks (!?!?!?!)
Seattle Mariners move forth without Paxton
by John Stewart
AL West: 2nd, a game behind Oakland
One of the nice things about growing up in a family with an affinity for baseball — my grandfather played in the Pacific Coast League in the 1920s — is having a mother who actually enjoys going to games. So, as an early Mother’s Day present, we made our way down to Safeco Field for the home opener.
The usual show ensued prior to the game, with fireworks, red carpets, and an insane amount of cheering for the Super Bowl champion Seahawks, who brought their tropy with them, posed for photos, and had quarterback Russell Wilson throw the ceremonial first pitch – caught by none other than King Felix behind the plate.
The book on Mariners starter James Paxton going into the game was, how will he handle the Angels hitters (who had seen him a week prior) adjusting to him? The first inning was…not a real happy place for the Safeco faithful. Paxton coughed up two HUGE home runs, over 400 feet each, and the home team was down 3-0. Those of us who have been Mariners fans for a long time sighed and hoped the offense could turn things around.
For the first time since I was a bloody teenager— and let’s be honest, I don’t even know if I did it back then — I ran 10 km in under 60 minutes. While I should probably be all happy about breaking that barrier, I can’t say I enjoyed it very much. It felt a little too much like… I don’t know, work.
I’m now at 309.6 km during this calendar year; that leaves me a shade under 31% complete on the 2014 goal of running 1,000 km. Some quick math tells me I’m about 30 km ahead of schedule despite having missed nearly two weeks with the flu in late March.
- Activity: Running
- Distance: 10 km
- Duration: 59:06
- Average Pace: 5:55 min/km
- Calories Burned: 859
The Abbotsford Heat hold their final homestand of the regular season this weekend, with games against the Oklahoma City Barons on Friday night and Sunday afternoon.
The Heat are riding high at the moment, having clinched a playoff berth after sitting out last year’s post-season. They are also celebrating goaltender Joni Ortio’s nomination to the AHL All-Rookie Team for 2013-14; Ortio has been a revelation in the Heat crease, netting 24 wins and two shutouts in just 34 games played. As well, left winger Sven Baertschi has knotted seven points in two games against the Rockford Ice Hogs last week, earning AHL Player of the Week honours.
The Barons have just four wins in their past ten games, and have lost four of the last five meetings with Abbotsford. This weekend marks a return for former Heat forward Roman Horak, who is the Barons leading scorer this season.
With five games left, the Heat sit in fifth place in the Western Conference, and are almost guaranteed to open the post-season against the St Louis Blues affiliate Chicago Wolves.
For those interested in ye olde arena foode, Friday night’s game features 3-2-1 pricing on beer, hot dogs and soda; if prizes are your thing, Sunday’s home finale offers fan appreciation giveaways, including jerseys and a freaking car.
As a new runner, I need all the help I can get. Here, I’ll talk about the songs on my running playlist and what makes them — and me — tick.
Song of the Week
Lady Gaga — Poker Face
Look, I’m no fan of Top 40, but when I’m looking to hoof my lard ass from point A to point B, sometimes I need some motivation. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, better known as Lady Gaga, happens to put together tunes that get me moving. Comparisons to Madonna are obvious, even trite — Gaga, seemingly a personification of New York ambition, emerged from a Catholic background to manufacture image-based, sexually charged pop music — but even with Born This Way being pretty much a carbon copy of Express Yourself, I find just as much Freddie Mercury in her work as Material Girl.
Poker Face runs at 120 beats per minute, which sites like jog.fm suggests will pull you in at about eight minutes per kilometre, but I find personally that it’s the perfect driving beat for 5:45 klicks.
Album: The Fame
Release date: 2008
Beats per minute: 120
Subject: Cards / gambling
Content warning: Sexual innuendo / repeated use in chorus of profanity (so subtle is Gaga’s insertion of the f-word, however, that the overwhelming majority of radio stations do not use the edited version in their broadcasts)
Week one of the 2014 MLB season brought some serious bats to the Seattle Mariner organization, and resulted in the kind of giddy, vibrating happy haps that the Emerald City hasn’t felt since… Well, since February. Damn you, Seahawks, for ruining a perfectly good blog lede. M’man John Stewart giddily shakes his way through this Week One Mariners wrap-up. On with the Boys of Summer!
Being a Seattle Mariners fan always includes plenty of angst. One is simultaneously hopeful (Cano! Miller! Seager! Felix!) and terrified (Hart, Morrison, Ackley, Saunders, Smoak…) So many good things could happen! And oh, so many bad things could as well.
Somehow this team not only swept their opening series against Albert Pujols and the Anaheim Angels, but did so in grand style. Production up and down the lineup! C Mike Zunino, he of so much promise yet so much growing to do, came up big multiple times. CF Abe Almonte, similar to Zunino in the promise-but-growing-needed camp, showed off his speed (and inability to properly play balls in centre field, but hey, he’s learning). In each of those three Angels games we saw either six or seven Mariners with at least one hit – exactly the kind of production this lineup needs to deliver. Second baseman Robinson Cano is looking great, but you can’t expect any player (even one making that much money) to carry the team on his back. Baseball is, inevitably, a team sport.
As I write this, the Mariners have recovered from their single loss so far this season by beating the Athletics 3-1…and lead the American League West, with a 4-1 record. It has been difficult to keep both feet on the ground this week, to be honest.
That loss to the Athletics could be chalked up to some of the worst umpiring I have ever seen. Sean Barber made his Major League umpiring debut behind the plate, and after this outing, the hope is that he goes back to AAA for some more work. The game also featured (thankfully) the last appearance by pitcher Hector Noesi in a Mariners uniform, as he was designated for assignment yesterday.
Another thing going well for the team is the starting pitching, despite the absence of Hisashi Iwakuma and Tai Walker. Erasmo Ramirez came up big in his first start, a welcome development given last season, and Felix Hernandex is the King for a reason (he had a shutout going into the 9th inning in today’s win over the A’s).
This Mariner team is long on promise and short on proven track record. But the American League West is a very different division from a year ago. The Rangers are hampered by injuries, the Angels’ expensive lineup is far from a sure thing, and as everyone who follows the division knows, the Athletics cannot be counted out – but also can not be counted on before the second half.
So for Mariners fans, this first week has been about as good as we dared hope. The offense has done exactly what it needed to do, the starting pitching has been frankly better than anticipated, and the bullpen has not completely imploded. A solid outing from Fernando Rodney in today’s victory over the A’s certainly did not hurt; while I don’t expect Rodney to be as good as he was last season, a productive year from him in the closer role will go a long way toward keeping the Mariners competitive.
The Mariners need to make it through April and at least keep it close. With Iwakuma and Walker coming back (hopefully some time in May) the rotation will only get better. And if the offense can continue to produce at anything close to the rate they did against the
Angels… well, it’s going to be a fun year.
It was my longest run yet. 19.34km. And holy hell, is it ever a long way.
I went out early Sunday morning in order to get my body used to pre-breakfast activity. Normally I hit the trail in the middle of the day — teaching classes that either start at 8am or end after 10pm doesn’t lend itself to morning runs — but with the half marathon in May I’ll be out the door before sunrise and through the starting line at 7am. If I haven’t done at least a handful of runs at that time of the morning, it’ll be hard to motivate on race day.
The Vancouver Whitecaps looked to continue their string of unbeaten play in the 2014 season, up 1-0 in the 77th minute and coming hard at the injury-depleted back line of the Colorado Rapids. Then Matías Laba, pushed roughly to the turf by Rapids midfielder Nick LaBrocca, corralled the ball with his right hand as he appealed to the referee for a foul. Unfortunately for the Caps, the man in yellow whistled at Laba, not LaBrocca, and the intentional handball garnered the Whitecaps midfielder an automatic yellow card. Double alas, it was Laba’s second yellow of the match, meaning that card had to be traded in for a red card.
Within three minutes of Laba’s ejection, the Rapids had not only erased the Whitecaps goal advantage, but scored a second time to take a 2-1 lead themselves.
“If you miss the first call, you don’t penalise the second player with a yellow,” said Whitecaps coach Carl Robinson after the loss, lamenting the official’s role in deciding the outcome. “Unfortunately the 20,000 fans leaving here today won’t be talking about the football that was played here today — and it was a good, tough game played between two very good teams.”
While it’s true LaBrocca could easily have been called for his takedown of Laba, it’s a fact that the Whitecaps haven’t capitalized on long stretches of 11-on-10 play — most notably against Chivas USA in their second game of the year. That Vancouver so quickly capsized after going down a man to Colorado doesn’t speak well to their ability to adapt to unpredictable situations.
Kenny Miller is probably right when he says it should have been 2-0 by the time Laba got his red card anyway. Pedro Morales missed a glorious opportunity just minutes after Mattocks had made it 1-0 in the 65th minute; his shot glanced off Colorado keeper Clint Irwin’s right leg and trickled wide of the far post. Long before that, in the first half, Miller himself was tripped up by Irwin in the box. The referee waved off appeals for a penalty kick, despite clear replays showing the keeper interfering with Miller as he ran for the ball. Let’s not even get into the half-dozen quality scoring chances lost to a poor final touch on this day. Russell Teibert alone wasted four free kicks in dangerous territory and at least two corners by alternately skying the ball well over every attacking Whitecaps player and toeing short passes directly into the shins of Rapids defenders.
Carl Robinson post-match press conference:
Kenny Miller post-match media scrum:
After a six-game road swing that saw the Abbotsford Heat play .500 hockey, they return to the AESC in the Valley to host the dirty rotten stinkin’ no-good Rockford Ice Hogs. The games mark the chance for local fans to get their first look at Calgary Flames first-round pick Morgan Klimchuk, who scored 74 points in 57 games with the Regina Pats in junior this year, and Collin Valcourt, an undrafted player who had 72 points as an overaged WHL player with Saskatoon and Prince Albert.
Abbotsford won both games in Rockford earlier in the season, winning 4-2 and 4-3 in OT; recently, however, the Ice Hogs have been on something of a tear, moving from non-playoff contention two months ago into seventh place in the West.
The Heat currently sit in fifth in the Western Conference; if the post-season started today they’d match up with the fourth-place Chicago Wolves, AHL affiliate of the St Louis Blues.
Abbotsford has back-to-back games against the Chicago Blackhawks farm team tonight and tomorrow, followed by a Friday/Sunday doubleheader against the baby Edmonton Oilers from Oklahoma City. They’ll finish the season with three games in three nights the following weekend before opening the 2014 AHL playoffs.
I’m totally stealing most of this information from the Abbotsford Heat website, but everything above is at least paraphrased. In honour of some of my writing students grappling with citation and plagiarism, the following sentence is word-for-word ripped from www.abbotsfordheat.com: Max Reinhart (2-5-7), Derek Smith (0-6-6), and Ben Street (4-4-8) are all riding five game point streaks into this weekend.