Vancouver Whitecaps
A game report in haiku
By R. Arbuthnot
A big match at home
The Whitecaps are in a fight
The playoffs at stake
In the third minute
Chivas mounts its bicycle
Torres pedals fast
Fall behind early
A lack of concentration
An uphill battle
Dagger to the heart
Follows in minute fourteen
Torres strikes fiercely
Kekuta Manneh
Victimized before the cross
Rennie left upset
Jersey: The maroon jersey of the 1915 Stanley Cup champion Vancouver Millionaires.
Years worn: 1911-1926 by the Millionaires.
November 20, 2008 by the Vancouver Giants.
March 16, 2013 by the Vancouver Canucks.
Reaction: Almost unanimously positive. People like them some retro jerseys.
Most famous players to wear it: Fred “Cyclone” Taylor.
Why it’s great: The colour scheme is unique, I guess. I can’t remember anyone else wearing maroon and cream since the Millionaires folded. Having a colour scheme that nobody else thought would be a good idea is a positive, right?
Why it’s garbage: It looks like someone tried to TP the Canucks but was interrupted before they got to the torso. And the pants! With all the guys in identical red hats and white pants, I wasn’t sure if I was watching a hockey game or a Pet Shop Boys music video. Oh, and the logo? Can someone find me a Windows 95 PC so I can mock that thing up in MS Paint, then build me a time machine so I can go be a graphic designer in 1910? Thanks.
Haiku to describe Chris’s feelings whenever he sees this jersey:
This is the wrong way
To do red and white shirts. The
Right way won 5-2.
Other jerseys we can’t believe somebody approved:
New York Islanders third jersey (rumoured), 2012
Seattle Sounders third jersey, 2012
Vancouver Canucks alternate jersey, 1995-1997
In an age of hyper marketing, intense competition and tightly controlled PR, it’s amazing that truly horrible ideas can still make it past the brainstorming stage. Whether it’s the nightmare of design by committee or just the conflagration of mediocre talents pulling the wool over the eyes of rich, out-of-touch CEOs, we occasionally see awful designs rolled out in an underwhelming implosion of gut-wrenching anticlimax. Today, we analyze the Vancouver Canucks first-ever alternate sweater. The recently rereleased Frankenchild of several other ugly jerseys, this salmon-topped nightmare is the third in our series… Somebody Approved This.
Continue reading 24 Nov 2011 – Somebody Approved This: Vancouver Canucks Mid-90s Third Jersey
