Tag Archives: mls 2015

The Top 5 of 2015 – The West Coast Voyage

Whitecaps Wednesday

The Vancouver Whitecaps are in Tucson, Arizona as they continue their preparations for the 2016 MLS regular season. I, on the other hand, have decided to keep my mind firmly static in 2015 – the days when I had a job, a robust hairline and a life with purpose. You, dear reader, will have to drag me, whining and defecating, into the present. Or, just wait another week when I’m forced to produce a Whitecaps Wednesday piece not beginning with “The Top 5 of 2015”, as the following represents the final entry into said endeavour.

That’s right, we have officially reached the gold medal winner on this completely arbitrary list composed by myself in conjunction with nothing and no one. I recognize that this may not be the best method in which to compose a list, but somehow, I always manage to justify my writing and I’ll be damned if I don’t. So then, with that out of the way, I hereby present to you the top game of 2015 for the Vancouver Whitecaps.

Continue reading The Top 5 of 2015 – The West Coast Voyage

The Top 5 of 2015 – Escape From L.A.

Whitecaps Wednesday

With lots of Whitecaps rumours and news this week surrounding the acquisition of Blas Pérez and departure of Mauro Rosales, I briefly considered suspending the Top 5 of 2015 series for one week. But then my pal and yours, Jason, tossed up his own review of said happenings and generously added in my own take as a footnote to boot. Perfect. Perhaps, at a later date, I will expunge my feelings on that subject further, but for now, let us forge ahead with the Top 5 countdown and review the Silver medal match of 2015.

Entries five, four and three were certainly delicious, but the top two spots are rich in nutritional value and high in fibre while being even scrummier and more fulfilling than the previous three. On June 6, 2015, the Whitecaps sailed into the most hostile of territories and managed to achieve a remarkable feat on both a micro and macro level.

Continue reading The Top 5 of 2015 – Escape From L.A.

The Top 5 of 2015 – Kansas City Rollercoaster

Whitecaps Wednesday

As we creep ever closer to the opening of the 2016 MLS season (you can take a look at the Whitecaps full schedule here), PITHites are being subjected to a peek back at what I deem to be the top five Caps games of 2015.  It’s kind of like one of those cobbled-together “Year in Review” we see frequently and repeatedly throughout the holiday season, except this isn’t nearly as long and contains less upper-management-sanctioned “witty banter.”  This is week two of our little experiment here so, naturally, that means that up for review this week is entry number four on our list of five.

I should clarify that the criterion for games being on this list extends beyond good feels and positivity, as evidenced by this selection.  We’re going to travel back to August 15, 2015 and look at a game that, to me, imitated the Whitecaps’ entire season in a thorough 90-minute display of hope, potential, success, decline and ultimately, failure.

Continue reading The Top 5 of 2015 – Kansas City Rollercoaster

Playoffs Clinched, Midfield Pinched

As we sat on Saturday night watching the Whitecaps piss another one away, Jason and I got to talking. He imparted upon me that he felt the Whitecaps recent string of poor performance was simply the manifestation of their historical tendency to eat shit through the summer. Only this time, a deeper roster and improved coaching had helped keep the swoon at bay, however the shit eating was nevertheless inevitable.

Jordan Harvey prepares to lay down a sweet one-touch pass to Christian Techera. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Jordan Harvey celebrated the birth of his first child on early Wednesday morning before playing a full 90 versus FC Dallas. Congratulations Jordan & Kimberly and welcome to the world Harlow! Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

He may be right. But if this were a multiple choice exam curated by one of my current professors, he’d actually be wrong because there is no “correct” answer anymore, just the “best answer.” Hey, maybe we should try educating students, rather than deceiving them? Just a suggestion. Anyways, I digress. Read on as I fill in Jason’s holes. In his theory, I mean. You sicko.

Continue reading Playoffs Clinched, Midfield Pinched

Summertime & The Winning’s Easy

Whitecaps Wednesday

The Whitecaps’ goal parade continued on Saturday as they poured in four against Western Conference foes Real Salt Lake. The four-spot gives them ten goals for over their last three games while only surrendering a single goal against in the same time frame.

It was another victory in a game that would have likely offered up a serving of humble pie in years past – Caps fans have become accustomed to never taking “guaranteed win night” for granted much like Dennis Skulsky and the BC Lions – bringing about the notion (for me anyways) that this team is exceeding expectations.

Coach Carl Robinson chants along with the Curva Collective,:"Four goals is not enough, four is not enough!" Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Coach Carl Robinson chants along with the Curva Collective: “Four goals is not enough, four is not enough!” Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

For certain this team has suffered some authentic disappointment season (see June 3, May 23), but on the whole, the squad has taken steps towards becoming the “professional team” all franchises aspire to be. That is, winning games you should and managing to earn results in many that you shouldn’t.

But is this what we had envisioned for the 2015 Whitecaps coming into the MLS season? Let us spew a few words about that.

Continue reading Summertime & The Winning’s Easy

The Kids Are Alright

Because Jason only allows me to cover Vancouver-based sports teams that carry an above .500 winning percentage, I’ve been taken off the Lions’ beat. So here I be, back to spilling virtual ink on the lovely Whitecaps, who most recently took on the San Jose Earthquakes in MLS competition.

The Vancouver Whitecaps FC beat the pants off the visiting San Jose Earthquakes, 3-1. Photos by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Mauro Rosales celebrates the opening goal in a 3-1 victory over the San Jose Earthquakes on Saturday. Photos by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

After a positive result in Portland, Carl’s Boys came into the game with some confidence, some beer and some toast. Actually, come to think of it, I was the one that came into the game with some beer and some toast. An odd combination that somehow works well together, presuming the toast is homemade multi-grain sourdough and buttered exactly right. And it was. Oh, it was.

Continue reading The Kids Are Alright

Not Enough Wrinkles

Most people don’t really like wrinkles. They tend to be a byproduct of growing old and preliminary research has confirmed that aging has been linked to all sorts of health issues. And if they aren’t representative of aging, they likely signify prolonged exposure to water, which, let’s be honest, is the worst part of prolonged exposure to water.

Think about that last grocery receipt you threw out. It was garbage. Trash. Deemed unworthy to keep amongst your possessions, so you chucked it away. I’d wager that before you tossed it in the trash, you crumpled it up, rendering it into a ball of wrinkled rubbish to reinforce its uselessness.

Where and how most of my articles end up.
Where and how most of my articles end up. Photo found by google searching “crumpled paper.”

Wrinkled carpets are perilous tripping hazards.

Billions of dollars have been spent on developing wrinkle-reversing creams and wrinkle-resistant clothing, because that’s how much we hate wrinkles.

But I’m here to tell you that wrinkles can be helpful. And when it comes to the Vancouver Whitecaps, an extra crease on their complexion might be just what the doctor ordered. Continue reading Not Enough Wrinkles

The Mystery of Morales

Whitecaps Wednesday

After a disappointing loss to Toronto in their season opener, the Whitecaps have reeled off three straight wins and find themselves in good shape through the first month of play. Sure, they’ve had a flair for the dramatic, earning two of the three victories in stoppage time and the other just shortly before, but it’s tough to argue with nine points in four games – a win is a win after all.

And while the results have been by and large positive (more positive than I had predicted), the process certainly hasn’t been what Carl Robinson was expecting of his squad, which is both a testament to the talent he has brought in and an indictment on their efforts thus far. Yet, over the last three weeks, a rotating cast of players has provided just enough magic to allow the Whitecaps to come out victorious. Which is a far cry from where this team was last year.

Coach Carl Robinson of the Vancouver Whitecaps FC. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Coach Carl Robinson watches on as his Vancouver Whitecaps steal three points against the Portland Timbers at BC Place. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Last season we saw a team that won and lost largely due to the performance of one man. As Pedro went, the Whitecaps went. And to start the 2015 campaign, it appears that perhaps Pedro has indeed went.

Continue reading The Mystery of Morales

Sports’ Biggest Fallacy

Whitecaps Wednesday

A win is a win is a win. Except when it isn’t.

“Now hold on a second, Russell! That doesn’t make any sense! How can a win not be a win?” Lend me your attention for a moment fine reader and I’ll be happy to explain.

After three months of inactivity, I've got the okay to pull the Rackets & Runners shirt (and the cheesy running selfies) out of mothballs.
Pucked in the Head’s fearless leader Jason Kurylo is seen here trying to outrun logic and reason. If you look closely, you can spot his overactive moistical gland in full production.

On March 14, we saw the Vancouver Whitecaps escape Toyota Park with a 1-0 result over the Chicago Fire. I watched this game while a wave of frustration bombarded me with each squandered scoring opportunity.

Sure, the Whitecaps notched their first triumph of the infantile MLS season this weekend. I’d suggest that many of you were in fact quite happy to see the Whitecaps find the victory in Chicago on Saturday. It’s not out of the question that you were placated by the fact that the Whitecaps FC had never scored a goal at Toyota Park. And many of you probably defaulted to using the aforementioned “a win is a win” cliché as some type of reasoning for arriving at your satisfaction in seeing the Caps win. (I’m looking at YOU, Kurylo).

Continue reading Sports’ Biggest Fallacy

Too Much, Too Soon

The Whitecaps started their 2015 season off with a bang. And ended their first game with a resounding thud. It was a tale of two halves, at least I think that’s how soccer games work, and on this day, the fans at BC Place saw two entirely different Whitecaps’ teams depending on which 45 you watched.

The first half looked like what we have had been told to expect this season from the blue and white – a fast-paced group, intent on spreading the ball around and utilizing their speed to overwhelm their opponents. The Whitecaps’ attack produced a number of quality chances, yet were only able to capitalize on one of them.

Marie Hui sings the national anthem prior to the Vancouver Whitecaps season opener. Sadly, the home team lost their 2015 home opener to the dirty, rotten, stinkin' doughbugs of TFC 3-1. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
Marie Hui sings the national anthem prior to the Vancouver Whitecaps season opener. Sadly, the home team lost their 2015 home opener to the dirty, rotten, stinkin’ doughbugs of TFC 3-1. Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Coach Carl Robinson liked what he saw, but post-game he conceded that perhaps that type of phrenetic pace isn’t one that can be maintained over a full 90 minutes. That, coupled with a tactical change at the break by Toronto head coach Greg Vanney, turned the game upside down and what appeared to be a potent Whitecaps attack suddenly looked more like a woodpecker taking a steel pole to task. Not much progress and one helluva headache.

Toronto took control in the second half, watching the Whitecaps attempt the soccer-equivalent of the dump and chase time and time again. The TFC defenders took a few large steps backwards and simply watched the balls come, abandoning any semblance of chasing. Yet the Caps seemed content to fire away and perhaps oblivious to the fact that it simply wasn’t working.

Let’s take a look at the highlights, the lowlights, and the limelight in the Caps’ 3-1 loss on Saturday.

Continue reading Too Much, Too Soon