I have a great deal of respect for NHL officials. Of all the major professional sports, hockey is surely one of the toughest to call. The rules are replete with grey areas, the standards they’re expected to apply change depending quite literally on which day it is, and the skill and conditioning necessary to keep up with NHL pace make the officials legitimate athletes in their own right. I’d like to see the league give them some tools to do their job more effectively. Continue reading Instant Replay Should Be Under Review
Tag Archives: Withers
Episode 50! The Uncaffeinated Rage Edition
Can you believe it? We’ve finally made 50 of these damned podcasts. Half a century of Pucked in the Head.
We yak about old guys, young guys, rule changes that should have been, and other fanboy wank. Jason hasn’t had his morning coffee, so in the course of today’s podcast, he threatens to drop the gloves with Gary Bettman, cut Chris open like a Tauntaun & climb inside for warmth. Of course, he’s talks a big game but he barely has the wherewithal to cut upon a steak if it’s too rare. He does, however, reach all the way back to the very first episode of this podcast — when it was still called Bernier is a Turd — to find Chris’s famous Andrew Alberts goat call.
Without further ado, here you go!
• Caffeineless crankypantses
• Sofa Surfer Girl by the Orchid Highway
• NHL fans: these are the drones Bettman was looking for
• Marty Brodeur: surprisingly good to start
• Teemu Frontenac?
• Staged fights suck balls
• Don’t get beat up by Gary Bettman
• Time to wrap it up
• Sofa Surfer Girl by the Orchid Highway
• Thanks for listening (Andrew Alberts goat call edition)
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Ich bin ein frustrated fan of German hockey.
I probably should have done a little more research before I picked my “lockout team”. Of course, that would have flown in the face of the pact that Jason and I made early on never to research when sheer speculation and gut instinct could be used instead.
When I settled on EHC Wolfsburg Grizzly Adams, it was primarily based on my German heritage and the team’s shall we say distinct uniforms. Little did I know that it would be next to impossible to watch the team. Continue reading Ich bin ein frustrated fan of German hockey.
More Things That Amuse Chris During The Lockout
With the NHL continuing to alienate fans and sponsors at a rate not seen since the Foxtrax puck, I’ve taken to finding other ways to amuse myself recently. There remains an entire world of sport out there, and that world even includes hockey! Let’s take a look.
NHL Fans
Yes, NHL fans, you amuse me. Your desperation amuses me. Your “cautious optimism” regarding the players and owners meeting without Bettman and Fehr amused me, too. Let’s be clear here: every time you send a rage tweet @NHL or @NHLPA you are sending the message loud and clear that you’ll be back. That makes you part of the problem. The NHL doesn’t fear its fans because its fans have given them nothing to fear. You know what would make the league perk up and take notice? Silence. We’re in this position right now because everyone involved knows they can get away with it. If you really want to help, be quiet. A lack of attention is the only thing these corporate scumbags will understand. “Oh wait,” they’ll say, “those people who used to care enough to beg and plead with us to bring the game back are now eerily quiet.” I seem to have trouble taking my own advice, but that is not the point!
(More after the jump).
Continue reading More Things That Amuse Chris During The Lockout
Bulldogs heel before the mighty Brustache
The top-of-the-league Abbotsford Heat were back in action on Friday night to take on the decidedly not-the-top-of-the-league Hamilton Bulldogs. With hundreds of Canadiens fans in the building to watch les petits Habitants, Abbotsford arranged to have Habs legend Yvan Cournoyer – he of the TEN Stanley Cup rings – in the building to drop the puck for the ceremonial faceoff. Pucked in the Head absolutely did not intentionally delay our arrival so that we could share the elevator with him and get a picture. Mr. Cournoyer, who I’m happy to report is a very nice man who appeared not at all perturbed by two fanboys asking for his photograph in an elevator, cheerfully commented that he hoped it would be a good game. It was not. Well, not for the Bulldogs, it wasn’t.
Somebody Approved This: EHC Wolfsburg Grizzly Adams
Jersey: The 2012 EHC Wolfsburg Grizzly Adams Hallowe’en jersey.
Years worn: 2012, one game only.
Reaction: “Ha! Look, the bear’s brains are showing!”
Most famous players to wear it: Niko Dimitrakos had a good run in the NHL. Kai Hospelt is the lone Wolfsburg player to have played in the Vancouver Olympics.
Why it’s great: Wearers of European hockey jerseys tend to resemble NASCAR vehicles more than hockey players. On this jersey, however, the advertising is pleasingly subdued. The jersey also has a huge zombie bear with a scythe. And more zombies in the background. And a font that drips blood! If you love Hallowe’en, it’s impossible to dislike this jersey.
Why it’s garbage: Less is supposed to be more, when it comes to design. The crew throwing this thing together leaped on the space freed up by the reduced advertising like an American on the local 7-11’s last remaining Twinkie and used it to cram in every piece of clichéd Hallowe’en imagery they could think of. “Hey Helmut, you forgot about the witch on the broomstick flying across the moon!” “Ah scheisse, sorry Jürgen! The right shoulder’s free, see if you can squeeze it in there!”
Haiku to describe Chris’s feelings whenever he sees this jersey:
Braaaaaaaaaaaainnnnnnns
BRAAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSS
Zombies suck at poetry.
Other jerseys we can’t believe somebody approved:
New York Islanders third jersey (rumoured), 2012
Seattle Sounders third jersey, 2012
Vancouver Canucks alternate jersey, 1995-1997
Episode 48 – What Lockout?
Chris wears a shirt that is destined for ugly jersey greatness, offers to help cheer your opponents into oblivion, and makes an inappropriate comment about his ancestors. Jason is his usual smug, snickering self, but he scores a few points for adding some of Bruno Mars “Locked Out of Heaven” into the opening of the podcast.
- Introduction
- Locked Out of Heaven by Bruno Mars
- Sofa Surfer Girl by the Orchid Highway
- Somebody Approved This: Grizzly Adams Halloween Jersey
- We don’t really miss NHL hockey all that much
- Taylor Hall on AHL hockey
- Abbotsford Heat still don’t get attendance love
- Jason strokes his own photo ego
- Time for a Change by the Orchid Highway
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Things That Amuse Chris During the Lockout
With no NHL hockey in the foreseeable future, I’ve been finding other things to amuse me lately. Lamentation about the lack of NHL hockey is not one of those things, so do not look for an opinion on the lockout here. Instead, come with me as we journey through the wonderful world of Chris’s new sporting landscape! Continue reading Things That Amuse Chris During the Lockout
Whitecaps vs. Galaxy Preview
Well, it’s just about time. Tonight, at 7:30, every bloody reporter who’s ever heard of Major League Soccer can finally stop talking about how the Whitecaps ARE the first Canadian team in the MLS playoffs, and, in all likelihood, start talking about how the Whitecaps WERE the first Canadian team in the MLS playoffs. Continue reading Whitecaps vs. Galaxy Preview
Episode 47 — Of Tears and Children and Lockouts
With loads of people complaining about “NO HOCKEY”, Chris and I decided to talk about the options that abound for puck-crazed fans to scratch the itch left by Gary Bettman and his immovable shitshow. Along the way we tackle the disaster that replacement players would present, and Chris makes several points that I have no answer for. History in the making!
Give us a listen, won’tcha?
• Opening theme by the Orchid Highway
• Is second honeymoon like second breakfast?
• Are replacement players on the NHL horizon?
• Calling out supposed “hockey fans”
• Closing theme by the Orchid Highway
• Thanks for listening
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