Tag Archives: Xmas

Hockey for the Holidays: Lonely End of the Rink

You’re just a few shopping days away from the big Noël, and you’ve still got a few unchecked boxes on the naughty and nice list. Maybe one or two of those stockings belong to sports fans. Here’s just one idea for how to fill that bit of footwear that hangs on the mantle.

The Lonely End of the Rink: Confessions of a Reluctant Goalie
by Grant Lawrence
$26.96 list price
$16.89 on Amazon.ca

Lonely End of the Rink is an autobiographical tale of how Grant Lawrence went from being a pre-teen King of the Nerds to a forty-something Kingpin of Beer League Rock ‘n’ Rollers.

Lawrence, ex-lead singer of The Smugglers and current King of the CBC 3, sketches out his childhood in terms of horrific geekdom, replete with knee braces, massive glasses, teeny tiny limbs and bad hair. There are Simpsons-esque episodes with fellow dweebs, beatings from bullies that would make Saruman the White proud, and verbal abuse from Seinfeldian gym teachers, who give him a lifelong hatred of being called by just his family name.

Grant Lawrence, shares his transition from King of the Nerds to King of in the Beer League Rock n Rollers in The Lonely End of the Rink.
Grant Lawrence, shares his transition from King of the Nerds to King of in the Beer League Rock n Rollers in The Lonely End of the Rink.

That reminds me: in this here tome, thar be pop culture references out the wazoo. Lawrence Grant writes the way hipster radio presenters talk — not that there’s anything wrong with that. He sprinkles metaphors and similes on the page like Emeril hopped up on too much essence. On a single two-age spread (pp 76–77 if you’re interested), he references Harry Hamlin (BAM!), Clash of the Titans (BAM!), the Spartans laying waste to Arcadia (BAM!), Richard Brodeur, the Scream Machine roller coaster, Gollum, zombies, Popeye, and a gym teacher named only The Fire Hydrant (BAM! BAM! BAM!). Chapter headings — and the book’s title, for that matter — are all nods to hockey rock influences, from Alan Thicke to the Tragically Hip, from Dave Bidini & the Rheostatics to the aforementioned Jill Barber & her equally talented brother Matthew.

We get a few anecdotes from Grant’s time as the lead singer of the Vancouver-based Smugglers, but large doses of talk about the Flying Vees, a collection of musicians, artists and other creative types who dabble in rec league hockey wearing — you guessed it — Gibson Flying V guitars on their blue, green and white jerseys.

Grant Lawrence won’t win the Giller Prize anytime soon, but his conversational tone makes The Lonely End of the Rink a fast, entertaining read. Hockey plays the on-again, off-again romantic lead in the piece, even though we know our hero eventually settles down with sublime songstress Jill Barber. If you’ve even once heard a Top 10 list on CBC 3, you can’t help but hear the author’s voice in your head as you read his recollections of unsuccessful Vancouver Canucks runs to the Stanley Cup final. Thankfully, you can hear it & cheer as he recounts his own (admittedly unlikely) tournament wins, battling as an adult those childhood demons that still hang about the rink.

Grant may be small in stature, but he stands tall when he calls himself “still a gimpy, small, lopsided goaltender who always made the first move, who flopped like a wounded moth and let in way too many goals.” He may be called ‘The Guesser’ by bearded Ontarian rockers, but for starting up the Flying Vees, he’s forever ‘The Kingpin’ to his teammates. That’s probably why, at 41 years of age & drinking Black Label from the Duffers League championship trophy — seriously, man, ain’t there any craft beer in North Vancouver? — Grant was already thinking about the end of the off-season: “I couldn’t wait for the next hockey season to begin.”

Check out Grant’s website here.
And follow him on the Twitter here.
But first, check out his face save here!

The CBC's Grant Lawrence makes a diving save with his mask during Duffers League action in North Vancouver. (The puck is actually visible under his neck protector if you look for it.) Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.
The CBC’s Grant Lawrence makes a diving save with his mask during Duffers League action in North Vancouver. (The puck is actually visible under his neck protector if you look for it.) Photo by Jason Kurylo for Pucked in the Head.

Last Minute Gifts for the Family Hockey Fan (Lockout Edition) – Part 4

It’s Christmas Eve, and you still haven’t gotten that damned hockey fan in your life something for the big day.

So why not go digital? In particular… well, you’ll find out after the jump.

Pucked in the Head is taking part in the 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer. You can help us reach our fundraising goal by throwing a few bucks at our campaign, at http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/jasonkurylo2013.

Continue reading Last Minute Gifts for the Family Hockey Fan (Lockout Edition) – Part 4

Last Minute Gifts for the Family Hockey Fan (Lockout Edition) – Part 3

What do you buy the hockey fan who has nothing to cheer for, NHL-wise, anyway?

The third in our get gifts quick series moves away from the printed word, which we focused upon in parts one and two, and on to live attendance at actual, real-life hockey games. No, we don’t recommend putting deposits down for NHL ticket packages. Rather, we want to push you to attend games at other levels of hockey.

After the jump, check out how.

Pucked in the Head is taking part in the 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer. You can help us reach our fundraising goal by throwing a few bucks at our campaign, at http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/jasonkurylo2013.

Continue reading Last Minute Gifts for the Family Hockey Fan (Lockout Edition) – Part 3

Last Minute Gifts for the Family Hockey Fan (Lockout Edition) – Part 2

As we talked about yesterday, the hockey fan on your Christmas list probably doesn’t want anything to do with NHL-related merchandise this year. The video you see here is proof of that, although a lot of people aren’t waiting until December 21 to start their boycott. By the way, the Just Drop It campaign has over 20,000 likes on the mighty Facebook, and is approaching 75,000 views on YouTube.

Pucked in the Head is proud to help you out with a few last-minute gift ideas, including number 2 after the jump.

Pucked in the Head is taking part in the 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer. You can help us reach our fundraising goal by throwing a few bucks at our campaign, at http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/jasonkurylo2013.

Continue reading Last Minute Gifts for the Family Hockey Fan (Lockout Edition) – Part 2

Last-Minute Gifts for the Family Hockey Fan (Lockout Edition) – Part 1

Each and every year, people clamour about various malls and websites, frantically trying to find those perfect gifts for loved ones. If those family members, friends and lovers are hockey fans, things are pretty easy, really: depending on your budget, you could get them game tickets to see their favourite NHL team in person. Or you could lay out some green for a variety of logoed merch, from key chains to car seats, from team socks to customized skates. You’ve got the choice between jerseys, herseys, shirseys and underpants. The sky really is the limit.

This year, of course, the game is different. Or, rather, the game… isn’t. Such is the general disdain for the NHL/NHLPA shitshow that many tried and true hockey fans are boycotting any and all NHL products, even at deeply discounted prices. One of my friends recently found out his fiancée bought him a pro quality vintage Vancouver Canucks jersey — something he’d been salivating over for a couple of years now — and insisted she return it from whence it came. He said he’d rather get nothing under the tree than know a couple hundred bucks had flowed into NHL franchise coffers.

So what do you do? After the jump, check out the first Last-Minute Gift Idea for the Family Hockey Fan, courtesy of Pucked in the Head.

Pucked in the Head is taking part in the 2013 Ride to Conquer Cancer. You can help us reach our fundraising goal by throwing a few bucks at our campaign, at http://www.conquercancer.ca/goto/jasonkurylo2013.

Continue reading Last-Minute Gifts for the Family Hockey Fan (Lockout Edition) – Part 1