Tag Archives: FIFA world cup

Comma’n You Girls!

Not too long ago, an article appeared on the beloved Pucked in the Head spotlighting a rather odd request made by the Seattle Sounders. Jason, being the man that he is, took it upon himself to broadcast the faux pas to the masses, not because he wanted to embarrass the Sounders and their supporters, but because it was the right thing to do.

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Must have been served meatloaf.

Surely this was merely an oversight on the Sounders’ marketing and design teams’ parts, and really, who can blame them? Most of us here in North America speak English and Seattle happens to be located approximately 2469.6 miles from the birthplace of the language. That’s a lot of space in which to lose a comma or two during transport. It happens.

But there’s no excuse for the fabricators of this little gem:

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PUNCTUATION OPTIONAL!

With England set to take on our beloved Canadians in the quarter-finals at the Women’s World Cup, the cast of the “Bend it like Beckham” musical decided to counsel us to “Come on [their] girls.” My favourite part of the whole thing is the exclamation point, suggesting their message isn’t merely a prompting, but rather a full-fledged directive with authority.

They probably would have been better off sending their well wishes via show tune and skipping the whole “writing” thing altogether.

Meet your Team Canada — 2015 Women’s World Cup

The 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup is set to get underway in a few days’ time. For those new to the game, as they say, you can’t tell the players without a program — so here’s the Team Canada roster, including social media info for your tweeting pleasure.

Team Canada, the host team of the 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada, the host team of the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
#PosNameAgeTwitterRecent photo
9FJosée Bélanger29@joseebelanger9
Team Canada forward Josée Bélanger moves the ball upfield during an international friendly. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada forward Josée Bélanger moves the ball upfield during an international friendly. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
3DKadeisha Buchanan19@keishaballa
Kadeisha Buchanan communicates with her teammates during international friendly action. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Kadeisha Buchanan communicates with her teammates during international friendly action. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
15DAllysha Chapman26@allyshachapman
Team Canada forward Cllysha Chapman during international friendly action. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada defender Allysha Chapman during international friendly action. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
16FJonelle Filigno24@JFiligno
Forward Jonelle Filigno in her official Team Canada portrait. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Forward Jonelle Filigno in her official Team Canada portrait. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
17MJessie Fleming17@_jessiefleming
Team Canada midfielder Jessie Fleming during international friendly action against England earlier in 2015. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada midfielder Jessie Fleming during international friendly action against England earlier in 2015. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
5DRobyn Gayle29@RobynGayle5
Team Canada defender Robyn Gayle moves the ball upfield during international friendly action against Sweden. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada defender Robyn Gayle moves the ball upfield during international friendly action against Sweden. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
18MSelenia Iacchelli28@syacc
Team Canada midfielder Selenia Iacchelli takes stock of the situation during training for the 2015 Women's World Cup. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada midfielder Selenia Iacchelli takes stock of the situation during training for the 2015 Women's World Cup. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
6MKaylyn Kyle26@KaylynKyle
Team Canada midfielder Kaylyn Kyle in international friendly action against England in May 2015. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada midfielder Kaylyn Kyle in international friendly action against England in May 2015. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
21GKStephanie Labbé28@stephlabbe1
Keeper Stephanie Labbé leaps for a ball during Team Canada training in Germany. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Keeper Stephanie Labbé leaps for a ball during Team Canada training in Germany. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
22MAshley Lawrence19@A_Lawrence99
Team Canada midfielder Ashley Lawrence lays her right foot into the ball during an international friendly against England. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada midfielder Ashley Lawrence lays her right foot into the ball during an international friendly against England. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
23GKKarina LeBlanc35@karinaleblanc
Keeper Karina Leblanc blocks a shot during Team Canada training. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Keeper Karina Leblanc blocks a shot during Team Canada training. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
19FAdriana Leon22@LeonAdriana9
Team Canada forward Adriana Leon pushes upfield during international friendly action. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada forward Adriana Leon pushes upfield during international friendly action. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
8MDiana Matheson31@dmatheson8
Team Canada midfielder Diana Matheson scoots along the flank during international friendly action against Germany. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada midfielder Diana Matheson scoots along the flank during international friendly action against Germany. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
1GKErin McLeod32@erinmcleod18
Keeper Erin McLeod in her official Team Canada portrait. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Keeper Erin McLeod in her official Team Canada portrait. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
4DCarmelina Moscato31@cmoscato4
Team Canada defender Carmelina Moscato looks to clear a ball during an international friendly against the USA. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada defender Carmelina Moscato looks to clear a ball during an international friendly against the USA. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
20DMarie-Eve Nault33@menault20
Team Canada defender Marie-Eve Nault pushes the ball upfield during international friendly action against Italy. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada defender Marie-Eve Nault pushes the ball upfield during international friendly action against Italy. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
13MSophie Schmidt26@sophieschmidt13
Team Canada midfielder Sophie Schmidt crosses the ball during international friendly action against the Republic of Ireland. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada midfielder Sophie Schmidt crosses the ball during international friendly action against the Republic of Ireland. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
11MDesiree Scott27@MsDScott11
Team Canada midfielder Desiree Scott steals the ball during international friendly action against the USA. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada midfielder Desiree Scott steals the ball during international friendly action against the USA. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
10DLauren Sesselmann31@lsesselmann
Team Canada defender Lauren Sesselmann keeps position during an international friendly against France. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada defender Lauren Sesselmann keeps position during an international friendly against France. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
12FChristine Sinclair31@sincy12
Team Canada striker Christine Sinclair closes in on yet another scoring opportunity during an international friendly against South Korea. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada striker Christine Sinclair closes in on yet another scoring opportunity during an international friendly against South Korea. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
14FMelissa Tancredi33@MelTancredi14
Canadian forward Melissa Tancredi chests down a forward ball during an international friendly against Japan. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Canadian forward Melissa Tancredi chests down a forward ball during an international friendly against Japan. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
7DRhian Wilkinson33@rhirhi8
Team Canada defender Rhian Wilkinson directs traffic prior to a throw-in during an international friendly. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada defender Rhian Wilkinson directs traffic prior to a throw-in during an international friendly. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
2DEmily Zurrer27@emme_z
Team Canada defender Emily Zurrer tracks down a ball during an international friendly against Germany. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.
Team Canada defender Emily Zurrer tracks down a ball during an international friendly against Germany. Photo courtesy of Soccer Canada.

World Cup Power Rankings: Volume 1

Now that we’ve had a look at all 32 teams competing in Brazil, let’s take a look at where they stand. Please note: like all power rankings ever created, these are complete bullshit. These particular rankings do not necessarily reflect how good the teams actually are, or how they are playing. Rather, these rankings give us a chance to crack jokes and make snide comments.
CW — Chris Withers; JK — Jason Kurylo

32) Uruguay
New rule: lose to a CONCACAF team, and you get dropped to the bottom of the rankings. I’m not sure why I’m surprised. This is a team that managed a scoreless draw against Jordan at home in their final qualification game. Jordan. CW

31) Ghana
Sorry guys, but rules are rules. Look, you outplayed the USA and deserved better than a 2-1 loss, but you’ve got all the polish and finish of (somewhat ironically) a 400 lb American redneck in a barbecue sauce-stained tank top cruising up to the McDonald’s drive through in an 84 Dodge pickup at 3 in the morning. CW

Never Ghana give you up.
Never Ghana give you up.

30) Honduras
Fuck these guys and the bullet-ridden, thrice-carjacked bus they rode in on. The slaughter at the hands of the French is the first step in what’s sure to be an early exit for these assholes. You’d think they’d be more motivated to stay, given that the alternative is returning to Honduras where the largest export is stray bullets. (PS: CBC, I’m sure you must have footage of Honduras scoring goals against countries other than Canada. Please use some of it.) Spend a few weeks watching international football with fans of Canada’s men’s squad, and you’ll understand my unvarnished rage. CW

29) Australia
Australia is a terrifying place. Poisonous jellyfish, Vegemite, giant poisonous centipedes, Vegemite, and something called the Australian Paralysis Tick (!!?). The fates didn’t really need to add yet another way to go, yet here they are in a group with Chile, the Netherlands and Spain. Still, I can’t feel too bad for them. If you’re going to walk around with a name like the Socceroos, trouble will follow. CW

Continue reading World Cup Power Rankings: Volume 1